It's been far too long since my last blog entry. I mean, come on. Everything has happened and there could still be more to come. New York has been a hotbed of activity and things just continue on. Saku has a girlfriend. The cab I took to the airport smelled like vomit. I woke up at 3:30 AM on a leather couch in a room whose average temperature was roughly twelve thousand degrees. There’s the tragic devastation of September 11th, a day that nobody will soon forget. But that's on a grander scale, and I don't think that there is much I could add to the conversation. What I want to talk about is small to you, but big to me.
I'm getting married. It's all very exciting. But the thing that kills me is this. When two people love each other, why do they have to do all the traditional things to get married? Right now I'm dealing with political questions about cakes, flowers, and guest lists. Cakes are eaten. Flowers die. Guests are trouble. You worry, biting your fingernails down, driving yourself crazy about who you're going to cut from the list. And you have to make cuts because there simply isn't enough money to go around. And you think about the amount of money that is being spent and wonder how all this got started when all you wanted to do was show the world that you love this person and start spending the rest of your life together.
But somehow it started. Now you are being asked about Aunt Julie being upset about her kids not being invited. And you are being nagged about tuxedo rentals. And you are being asked if you prefer this cake or that cake or cupcakes. And you don't want any of it. All you want to do is be in her arms and not talk about anything. You just want to stay at home all day and not think. But, alas, there are decisions to be made. There are photographers to pay and music to choose. And, in the end, you will be married, just like you wanted to be. You just have to go through this level of hell to get there. And when you do, you will have less money, less patience, and less life to enjoy with the one you love.
Fri 25 Jan 2002 3:51 PM
Someone once posed this discussion:
"New Jersey has cheap gas, no tax on clothing, good beach towns, lots of diners, and the kind of social tapestry that any good liberal would crave. And yet... there's something not quite right here."
My response may be biased, as I am a native of New York and am required, by law, to dislike our neighboring Jersey.
Cheap gas is not important enough to warrant a change of opinion that runs so deep it you can't explain it anymore. No tax on clothing is a corollary of the first. It means less money spent and more money in our pockets. This is not as big a driving factor as you may think. Why is there no tax on clothing? Perhaps other taxes are higher so the state does not need to pillage us in Old Navy.
I have yet to visit a Jersey beach that I enjoyed. Perhaps I can still imagine the medical waste of years ago buried in the mushy sand beneath my feet. Perhaps it is the scum visible on the pilings supporting those intrusions they call docks violating the ocean space. There is something dirty about the Jersey beaches I have seen, although I can't say that I've seen many. My father is the biggest beach bum I know, and we have been to beaches up and down the East Coast all through my life. Jersey was not a stop on these trips, despite its proximity and cheap gas prices.
I also have yet to visit a diner I respected in Jersey.
I am socially inept, and therefore I cannot comment on the last item named in support of New Jersey. I do, however like tapestries.
I am not saying that I am an expert on Jersey, nor do I want to be. Perhaps if someone really in love with the state could show me the beauty that I am not seeing, I could be swayed. As of now, I have not met anyone who really loves the state. Of course, it could be some kind of best-kept secret I don't know about. I don't know about a lot of things.
Other things I don't like about Jersey:
Too many toll roads. I believe that something is amiss. Even though the New Jersey Turnpike is I95 just as you cross over the bridge into New York and I95 as you cross the bridge into Delaware, it is not so within the state of Jersey. In fact, I95 loops around into 295 and disappears somewhere within the state. I am sure that this has something to do with charging us money to drive on this major thoroughfare.
Many of the citizens of New Jersey are people who wanted to be far enough away from New York or Philly that they wouldn't have to pay outrageous prices for homes, but could still have a driveway. These people cause tremendous traffic jams coming to those cities for work and play. Why are you going to live far from where you want to spend most of your time? Perhaps you have some kind of misperception about what it is like to live in the city. Perhaps all your friends are moving to suburbs and you need to keep up with them. Whatever it is, these are the citizens of Jersey. And these are the people I have a problem with. Sure, real estate would be driven insanely up if people didn't move to suburbs. So I do appreciate their decisions. But it does not mean that I have to agree. They are moving away because they feel they are better than the city-dwellers. They do not want to subject their kids to that kind of lifestyle. Then, as soon as they are old enough, what do the kids do? They visit the city with their friends. They go down to St. Mark's Place (NYC) or South Street (Philly) to get drunk and tattooed. Then, they move to the city. If you don't like the city, move away and stay away. Don't criticize the city you depend upon to live. (Note: There are many good people who live, work, and play in Jersey. This can not and does not apply to them.)
Route 1 makes New Jersey drivers bad drivers. It is a road that is sometimes limited-access and sometimes riddled with stoplights. It is a road that forces one to drive badly.
You can't even pump your own flippin' gas.
Fri 17 Aug 2001 12:18 PM