Yesterday, I was toasting up some breakfast at work. The first time didn't really do the job, so I started the toaster oven again. At the ding, I looked inside and saw that there was a nice little fire going.
I immediately rescued my corn toastie (you can't beat Freihofer's Corn Toasties), which had luckily not caught on fire. Several thoughts came to mind. I have created a fire at an organic synthesis pharmaceutical plant, where flammable solvents are used in abundance and it is forbidden to have any kind of flame on-site. Should I try to blow it out? [I blow and the flames get bigger.] Should I pour water on it? Before I do that, I should unplug it. Where is the plug for this thing? The cord seems to go behind the refrigerator. Should I move the refrigerator? If I close the door of the toaster oven, will that create a backdraft-type situation such that the next person who opens up the door will be consumed by flame?
What I ended up doing was blowing intermittently, opening and closing the door to see if it mattered, and just staring at the flames. As they died down, Seth came by and gave a little blow that put the fire out immediately. After the toaster oven cooled down, I cleaned out as much of the crumbs and grime as I could, that had collected at the bottom of this communal toaster oven for who-knows-how-long.
This morning, as I started the toaster on its second cycle again, I noticed a few glowing embers and the faint smell of smoke in the air. Perhaps I should start buying breakfast in the cafeteria.
Posted at 08:48:03 | TrackBackI realize that my last comment sounded rather stupid.
Now that I think about it, it's sort of like a Steven Wright-ism. In any case, ask Erik - he probably knows what the $#@! I'm trying to describe.
Damn Wallace Chinitz.
Posted by thermo joe at 2004:04:27:17:47:31Hmm. Aside from the fact that my parents probably "loved" me so much that I'm now really pretty good and $#@!ed up, I can only ask:
WHAT'S near the English Muffins? Corn toasties or the supermarket itself? Perhaps this is some kind of weird self-referential food map.
Love is kind of like negative absolute temperatures...like when it gets so hot that it actually gets cold.
Damn thermodynamics.
Posted by thermo joe at 2004:04:27:17:42:25hmmm.. interesting..
I must find out if these Freihoffer corn toasties are available in Maryland
It's true! I was exposed to corn toasties while visiting my aunt in upstate New York. You can get the Freihoffer's ones there. When we tried to get them back in the Bronx, all they had was Thomas', which are not that great.
Posted by Marc at 2004:04:26:17:05:42I have figured it out. Since you can't get the good kind (Freihoffer's) in NYC, people probably don't bother. You can get the crappy kind (Thomas'). They are near the English muffins. Joe and Stephanie, I think you parents did love you after all.
Posted by Kate at 2004:04:26:12:22:01It's like a flat corn muffin. You put it in the toaster. You can find them at your local supermarket. A supermarket is a place where you can buy food. Food is stuff that you can eat. I think they're usually located near the english muffins.
Posted by Marc at 2004:04:26:11:11:22I guess I was also neglected as a child..
I have no idea what a corn toastie is either
How can you not know what a corn toastie is? Didn't your parents love you?
Posted by Kate at 2004:04:26:09:56:08Okay, I've waited the requisite few days, so excuse me:
What the flurp is a corn toastie?
Posted by uncle "expletive deleted" joe at 2004:04:25:01:09:01Does life get more exciting?! I thought the new baby was big news, but then you drop this tale about the near-death experience of your corn toastie on us! This is the stuff movies are made of folks…
“He was an ordinary guy, living an ordinary life. But today was no ordinary day….” A co-worker opens the toaster, as Marc screams “NOOOOOOOOOO!” An explosion! Marc dives behind the refrigerator shielding himself from the flames. When he recovers all that’s left is remnants of a corn-toastie, taken in its prime. Marc scoops up the crumbs and holds them aloft screaming “Whyyyyyyy?!" Tears stream down his face as he pleads with the heavens “Take meeeeeee!! You unfeeling bastard! Take meeeeee!”
Come on,...you'd totally go see that.