i scatter.

a couple of folks have asked where "i scatter" comes from, and here's the answer.

you've got this thing, he said,
this thing to give to the world,
i said aw what do you know
but i let my fingers curl
around the base of his idea
and the concept on his mind
and i thought, yeah i could do that
some day, some time.

and i went about my life
reading other people's thoughts
taking notes and pondering carefully
but eventually forgot
how it felt to be the smart one
the one who figured things out first
holding the secrets and the answers
until i knew that i would burst

i scattered his ideas
among unimportant things
like coupons and bills
and cabbages and kings
and i thought about the weather
and the rent check and my stocks
and my sunburn and my haircut
and my underwear and socks

till just now it returned
that sentiment of his
and it whirled about my mind
and bubbled till it fizzed
eventually boiling over
and flooding my mind with white
until i grabbed a pad and pen
and sat back down to write

km 29 oct 99