the cool side of hot.

it is hot.
i am awake.
i am miserable.
can't sleep.
can't stay awake.
can't stop hating this temperature, this sweat, this hair, this night,
all i want to do is fall asleep and all i can do is think

when does growing up stop?

when do i stop moving?

where are the people who are not leaving?

i hate paying rent, living in a closet, dust everywhere:
spring dust
the last victim's dust.

i hate not knowing where to go
what to be
how to get the air conditioner to blow cold air.

the night is hot --
my body is angry --
my mind is revolting --

hope is weak

tomorrow is distant

i am stuck to the chair

i am dripping with frustration

the earth heaves with thunder

i am so small on nights like these:

searching for the cool side of hot
waiting for something to carry me home.

Posted at 12:19 AM in category Old (this category is huge!)