the company holiday party sucked in many ways.

Monday was my company's holiday party.

When I say "party," what I actually mean to say is "Lesson in Why Alcohol Should Be Required at All Group Functions Involving Engineers and Businessmen."

For that matter, when I say "holiday," I guess I mean "Monday," which wasn't technically a holiday of any sort. Well, it was part of Hanukkah, but I'm sure that was unintentional.

The "Lesson," scheduled to begin at noon in the "Party Room," (by which I mean the Training Room, naturally) started about 20 minutes late, and it was quickly apparent that there wasn't going to be enough food. Or seating.

Or alcohol, by which I mean there was "none," since we were all due back at our desks in an hour.

There had been lingering hope all morning that there would be an early holiday dismissal involved, so we could all go spend the Christmas Bonus That Never Came on gifts for our Happily Employed Friends and Families.

But alas, there was no such glimmer of generosity twinkling in the CEO's eye. There wasn't even a glimmer of empathy. In fact, I'm pretty sure I caught a spark of hatred. Or maybe it was just hunger.