i am not dead. this is how rumors get started.

To all of you who are running AOL in OS9 on a Mac, I apologize. My site seems to look okay, but damn, most of the web looks like hell to you, huh?

That's right, I'm at Mom and Dad's again. And the stockings have been hung by the chimney with care, we've all been to church and eaten pork, Mom and Matt are watching Christmas Vacation in the Family Room, and it's all so sickeningly homey I'm considering downloading some Olsen Twins piXXX just to remedy the acid stomach.

So far I've gotten all kinds of unexpected Christmas gifts -- my little brother's learned to smoke! Eddie's learned to play a Patti Smith song! Will wonders never cease! Photos coming soon!

But you know I love it. And I know you do too. This has been a tough year for so many people. So enjoy what you have, and may it be wonderful and sparkly if that's what you're looking for. And may it be filled with Mary Kate and Ashley if that's what you're looking for. As you may statistically be, now that my weblog is forever linked with those precious little bundles of joy.

So go hug somebody, drink yourself some eggnog, and celebrate the solstice or the jesus or the festivus or whatever it is you're enjoying, and I'll catch you in the new year. Or perhaps in the old year, depending on how much snow we get (rear-wheel drive and I don't get along too well up here) and whether I manage to get out of the house.